Things You Can't Do While Black: Vol. II

When I wrote about this the first time over 4 years ago I didn't necessarily think there would be a need for a second iteration. I foolishly thought things were trending (albeit slowly and marginally), in the right direction: Obama was doing his thing, J. Cole released 2014 Forest Hills Drive, Pharrell accidentally became a spokesperson for fire safety, and we were a long way from the American people electing a misogynistic, geriatric, racist, human wax candle to be president and eventually captain us to an embarrassingly pornstary demise. Ahh, the good ol' days.

Remember, only you, can prevent forest fires.

That's about where the good news stops. Since then (and not that things were ever that great for us), things have been heading in the wrong direction for African Americans (and brown people in general).

Since volume 1, which was meant to be a little bit of lighthearted satire on the state of racial bias in our nation (a bias that I admit, I wasn't taking seriously enough), here's a snippet of what's gone down, among myriad other cases:

Mike Brown – unarmed black kid, shot and killed	Ferguson, MO, becomes a warzone	Christian Taylor – unarmed black kid, shot and killed
Sam DuBose – unarmed black man, shot and killed during a traffic stop	Tamir Rice – 12-year-old black kid, shot and killed	Terence Crutcher – unarmed black man, shot and killed
Freddie Gray – "fell into a coma" suspiciously, and died, while being transported with police	Walter Scott – unarmed black man, shot in the back and killed	Philando Castile – shot 7 times and killed in front of his 4-year-old daughter
Akai Gurley – unarmed black man, shot and killed in a stairwell	Eric Garner – black dude choked out in the street	Kaep gets blackballed by the NFL (pun semi-intended), for protesting racial injustice
Charlottesville becomes a hashtag for a white supremacist rally & murder... because... statues	Jason Whitlock & Lavar Ball happened	Charles Kinsey – unarmed black dude shot in the middle of the street while on his back with his hands up
Taylor Swift covers "September"	2 black dudes get arrested in a Starbucks for __________	14-year-old Brennan Walker gets shot at WITH A SHOTGUN for asking directions to school

This shit isn't news to anyone, but what strikes me is that in the majority of these cases there was some sort of ludicrous excuse as to why the killing was justified. "I feared for my safety," "he should have just complied," "he forgot to brush his teeth that morning," "he's anti-military," "he sang America the Beautiful out of tune," or whatever the fuck ever. 

Again, though this shouldn't news to anyone, but I oddly feel like this needs to be said: it all... ALL comes down to implicit bias. And for those of you who bristled and thought "well I'm not racist," you still might be, but that's not remotely the same thing and also doesn't exclude you from harboring, teaching, and acting on a socially-ingrained prejudice against minorities that results in people that look like me and my friends and my kids being profiled, shot at, and potentially killed.

Unlike Mike B, I am not feelin' it.

Part of the problem is that we all think we're better than the next person at doing, what should be, basic human shit. It becomes a "not me" issue. Go ahead, give yourself credit for not clutching your purse when you walked past those black guys. You're absolved. What a rush... Oh talk to them? Those thugs? No way, I bet they didn't even finish high school.

The other issue is that we rarely challenge ourselves to analyze the root of the problem, to understand historical context. Have you ever though about why you're conditioned to feel the way you do about certain groups of people? How you're so justified to act based on stereotypes and little to no information about the person themselves.

Coates said it. Michelle Obama said it. Papa Pope said it. And every black kid has heard some version of it:

"you have to be twice as good to get half as much."

The reality is minorities have to go out of their way just to to prove all the shit that we assume about white people. Black folks, that goofy-ass smile you throw on when you're passing someone to make sure they know you aren't threatening. The talk we've all had about how to interact with the police, no not to be civil, but to not end up a statistic. The way you have to be sociopathically-calm to guard against being "the angry black person" because you will always be seen as the agitator.

It doesn't take a PhD in history to understand that America was founded and built on a racially-derived caste system and the negative portrayal of minorities. Black people throughout history are conveyed as ignorant, dangerous, animalistic, and unpredictable. This practice has persisted for hundreds of years and permeated our thinking. And for those of you wondering, this is why Black Panther was so significant, especially in the black community.

Wakanda Forever.

Price, what's the point.

In all of these legacy cases, there was something culturally significant about the victim. Kaep's got tattoos and an afro. Maybe he should take the advice of the social decorum guru, Mike Vick, and cut his hair. Eric Garner was a big dude, and poor. Maybe if he was skinnier and less threatening all would have been good? Philando Castile had braids. A clean cut dude probably wouldn't have had an issue.

Here's why that's all bullshit.

Brennan Walker is 14-years-old. This dude looks like a normal fucking kid who weighs 68 lbs. and just wants to play Fortnite and giggles when he holds hands with girls.

I, uhhh, hehe.

He misses the bus, as we all have, and remarkably (probably to avoid the maternal ass-whooping that comes with playing hooky), goes to the neighbors house to ask for directions. Now, mind you, he didn't walk into their house uninvited, he didn't smash the window and climb in, he didn't torpedo down the chimney. He knocked. Like a normal person. Say, the mailman, or Dominoes, or Jehovah's interminable witnesses. Or. Or. THE SHITTIEST FUCKING CRIMINAL EVER.

The wife answers the door and, per reports, yells something to the effect of "why did you people choose us? why are you breaking into my house."

YOU people.

OK, so, off to a flying start. Racist old lady (surprise!), immediately assumes the main character from Abe's Odyssey is trying to break into her house (anyone get that reference?). From there, her All-Star husband pulls out a shotgun and fucking shoots at Brennan as he runs away and hides in the bushes.

Part and parcel to that fuckery, two black real estate agents, while waiting for a friend to arrive, get arrested in Philly for

Oh, no. That sentence is finished.

OK, lay it on me. Let's hear the excuses as to why this isn't a race thing. Why the barista calling the cops on the two black guys amidst an ENTIRE Starbucks of white people "working on their novels" isn't a racial thing. Why like 7 cops showed up and walked them out in handcuffs.

I'll wait.

These cases, aside from being the most recent, are the exemplars of why black folks are mad, feel anxious, why Kaep kneels. What else could they have done? In what other ways do minorities need to assimilate in order to not get arrested or murdered? A kid trying to find his way to school almost gets blown away, and two guys get dragged out of a Starbucks in handcuffs.

You're either purposefully oblivious or a try-hard asshole if at this juncture you still feel the need to try and justify shit like this.

Wakanda forever.