I'm not here to say who's right and who's wrong. Political statements aren't my thing. What I am here to do is solve a problem.
Black and white people communicate in markedly different ways. There. I said it. Luckily, I happen to sit on both sides of the fence (because straddling it too painful), so I feel I can act as a translation medium of sorts, to help the two cultures better understand one another and hopefully lead to a reduction in the amount of violence and tension.
Whenever we travel to other countries we bring with us a translation dictionary, or use Google translate, or if you're really bold just wing it. But that's how you end up trading someone's child for an organ. Alas, while no translation service is perfect and have left me with more than a few apologies to make in various countries, they at least give us a rough idea of what we're saying and what is being said to us.
I also think this will allow you to mark that your "bilingual" on LinkedIn. You're welcome.
Shank
This one took me a couple years to learn, but the difference in definition is important.
White Culture: Believe it or not this means to pull someone's pants down. If one of your white friends says he "shanked" someone, he is referring to the art of pantsing him... or her. But that's techincally a precursor to rape so maybe don't condone that.
Black Culture: Can be a noun or a verb, but both refer to stabbing. A "shank" is a makeshift knife typically made in prison, and to "shank" someone is to stab them. So white people, if one of your black friends says he "shanked" a guy, a cordial chuckle and a bare-ass joke will leave you both confused, and you will be an accessory to a crime.
Fam
White Culture: Someone you are related to and share genetic material with.
Black Culture: Literally anybody, regardless of age, race, or familial affiliation.
That girl is bad
White Culture: She misbehaves and is difficult to be around.
Black Culture: That girl is fine AF.
What's good?
White Culture: What should I order? What do you recommend from this menu?
Black Culture: What's up with you? How are you living these days?
Damn
White Culture: Drat. Something bad just happened.
Black Culture: Holy shit, Something surprising just happened.
Doe
White Culture: A deer, a female deer.
Black Culture: Translation of "though". Who the fuck has seen Sound of Music?
Yo
White Culture: Half of your favorite child-hood toy.
Black Culture: Anything from a greeting to an entire sentence. Can stand in place of "hello", or, if said like "yooooo", could mean that you need to chill out before something bad happens to you. I have added more o's to calm myself before I do something unpredictable based on your behavior.
C'mon son
White Culture: Let's get a move-on young person who came from my balls.
Black Culture: You fucked up. Can be said to any male, regardless of age. Usually accompanied by a handwritten sign on a piece of hastily torn cardboard.
You are trippin'
White Culture: You're having a hard time keeping your balance. Work harder to stay upright.
Black Culture: You're out of your mind.
Steel/stole
White Culture: To take something unlawfully that is not yours.
Black Culture: Somehow this means to punch. If you "get stole" then you get punched. Yeah, go figure?
I don't mean to be racist, but
White Culture: I'm about to say the most racist shit you've ever heard.
*Subtle Nod
White Culture: You're obviously confused. Stop doing that.
Black Culture: Maybe I know you, or maybe I've never seen you before. We may be total strangers, acquaintances, or in fact related. Nobody will ever know.
I can't breathe
Well... yeah.
Print it out, fold it up, take it with you. Next time you're in a conversation with someone who's culturally different that you, you guys can communicate without hassle.
No comments:
Post a Comment